Wat is?! „Kinderficker-Partei!“

Tagespolitische Themen werden da diskutiert, wo die Wahrheit noch gesagt werden darf: Am Stammtisch. Für Deine SPD schreibe ich, was in Deutschlands Kneipen wirklich bequatscht wird. Warnung: Selten ernst gemeint.

„Du bist doch auch in der Kinderficker-Partei!“, sagt Manni.

Ich seh ihn erwartungsvoll an.

„Jetzt guck nich‘ so!“, sagt er und nippt am fünften Pils.

„Wat is‘ denn mit dem Edathy? Der is‘ doch so’n Kinderschänder! Und du bis‘ mit dem in eine Partei!“

Ich trink ’n Korn und denk‘ nach.

„Jau, haste recht“, sag ich, während ihm das Kinn runter fällt. Zu früh gefreut, mein Lieber.

„Bin mit dem in einer Partei. Und du bis‘ mit’m Hoeneß in einem Fußballverein. Ich sag dem Finanzamt schon mal bescheid, die soll’n morgen bei dir reinschauen.“

Manni schaut mich an, als wär‘ mein Gesicht aus Käse.

„Ja, wat hab ich denn mit dem Hoeneß zu schaffen, dem feinen Pinkel?“ – „Na, ihr seid im selben Verein. Dem Steuerhinterziehungs-Verein. So is‘ dat, Manni.“

Manni trinkt schweigend sein Pils. Dann legt er noch mal los.

„Aber du muss‘ zugeben, datt dat echt nich‘ mit rechten Dingen zu gehen kann! Der macht’s mit kleinen Jungs und kommt gegen so’n paar Tacken davon!“

„Na, woher weisste denn, dass der’s mit kleinen Jungs macht?“, frag ich zurück. Ich bestell direkt noch ’ne Frikadelle.

„Na, dat weiß doch jeder!“ – „Dann sag mal, woher du dat weißt!“ – „Steht inne Zeitung!“ – „Inne Bildung?“ – „Jau!“ – „Hasse auch mal gelesen? Da steht nur, dat er Bilder besessen hat, die möglicherweise Kinderpornografie sind.“

„Ja siehste.“ – „Wat seh ich?“ – „Na, der hat Kinderpornos besessen!“ – „Hat er nich‘.“ – „Hat er doch!“ – „Schau mal innen Duden. Da steht, wat ,möglicherweise‘ bedeutet.“

Manni geht raus und raucht eine. Ich ess‘ ne Frikadelle. Vielleicht schaut er heimlich innen Duden. Hat bestimmt ’ne App.

„Aber der is‘ verurteilt worden!“, keift Manni, als er zurück ist. „Is‘ er nich’“. Dabei schluck‘ ich den letzten Brocken Frikadelle runter. „Die Staatsanwaltschaft hat gesagt, die stellen das Verfahren ein, weil sein Vergehen zu geringfügig is‘.“

„Aha! Also hat der Bonze sich freigekauft!“ – „Hat er nich‘.“ – „Hat er doch! Gegen fünftausend Euro!“ – „Nee, hat er nich‘. Die Staatsanwaltschaft hat nur festgestellt, dass seine Strafe vermutlich unwesentlich höher als fünftausend Euro wäre. Deswegen lohnt sich das für die nich‘, das weiter zu verfolgen.“

„Damit hat er aber zugegeben, dass er ’nen Kinderficker is‘!“ – „Hat er nich! Er hat nur gesagt, dass er die Summe zahlt. Würdeste dat nich‘ machen, damit die ganze Siedlung nicht mehr über dein Techtelmechtel mit der Gerda redet, hm? Siehste. Deswegen hat der dat gezahlt. ‚N Urteil hat’s gar nich‘ gegeben. Und wenn, dann wär dat wegen Nacktbilder. Dat is‘ ganz wat anderes.“

„Isses nich‘!“ – „Wieso nich‘?“ – „Weil der sich nackige Kinder angesehen hat!“ – „Jau. Kann sein. Muss aber nich‘. Wissen wir nich‘. Und wenn: Guckste Pornos?“

Manni grinst so’n bisschen verschmitzt. „Siehste!“, sag ich. „Da wird manchmal auch ’ne Frau gewürgt, geschlagen und gefesselt. Manchmal sogar angepinkelt.“ – „Wat guckst du dir denn an?“ Manni fällt dat Gesicht runter. „Is‘ doch egal. Und is‘ legal. Guckste bestimmt auch. Und machste dat alle auch, wat du dir so anguckst?“

„Dat is kein Argument!“, sagt Manni und bestellt auch ’n Korn. „Also darf man jetzt Kinderpornos haben?“ – „Nö, darf man nich‘. Aber die Grenze zwischen Familienfoto und Porno is‘ manchmal schmal.“ – „Wie jetzt?“ – „Magst du, dass du in den Knast gehst, weil du deine Tochter beim Sandburgbauen fotografierst?“ – „Wieso dat denn?“ – „Weil die dann ’nen Badeanzug an hat. Wie alt is‘ die? Acht?“ – „Sechs!“, sagt Manni und schaut doof.

„Siehste. Das ist der Punkt. Wir wissen gar nicht, was der Kerl sich angeschaut hat. Zu einem Prozess hat’s nicht mal gereicht. Also hat er wohl was legales geguckt. Und zwischen gucken und machen liegen Welten. Dat eigentliche Problem spricht keiner an: Wir müssen verhindern, dat mit solchen Fotos gehandelt wird. Und dat geht nur auf internationalem Level!“.

„Wie meinste dat denn jetzt?“ Manni gibt mir einen aus.

„Na, die Bilder von dem Edathy kamen aus Kananda. Die gehen um die Welt. Dat müssen wir verhindern, wenn wir ernsthaft Kinder schützen wollen. So Typen wie der sind nur kleine Fische. Willste was machen, müssen wir die Quelle abdrehen. Und dafür sorgen, dat so Typen Fantasien nicht wirklich in die Realität umsetzen. Wenn wir dat schaffen, trocknen wir auch echte Kinderpornos aus.“

„Macht die SPD dat denn?“ Da bringt Manni den Punkt auf den Punkt. Ich geb die nächste Runde.

„Bisher noch nich‘. Aber da kann man ja wat dran tun.“

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